Who Asks Whom?

One of the oldest and most perplexing questions pertaining to dating is why women never have to ask men out. There is a distinct difference, it should be noted, between a woman asking a man to go out on a date and getting a man to ask her out. The latter is merely another form of feminine guile. The former is something so forward that it remains, like the Loch Ness monster, the stuff of unseen legend.

Stay In Your Lane

Most dating advisors will tell women that they should never ask a man out on a date, as it represents a threat to masculinity. Women are much better off, they say, charming the guy into asking her out. Even in the event that a gentleman appears too shy to ask, an interested female should still avoid being the one to broach the subject, if only because of the clear breach of etiquette.

Shoe On The Other Foot

How do women feel about it? The ones who have asked men out on dates say that they’ve noticed an opportunistic streak at work, wherein the men won’t turn down what they feel is an “easy” situation. Men seem to take advantage of the women who ask them out, without too much concern for their feelings. It doesn’t look desperate, exactly, but it is clear that men perceive themselves as wanted by an aggressive woman if she does the asking, and they’re likely to treat her accordingly.

If conventional wisdom applies, then whoever does the asking out would seem to be on the hook for the bill. That flies in the face of traditional dating, though, in which men are expected to pay for the evening out. So when a woman asks a man out on a date, isn’t she really asking for a free meal and entertainment? That doesn’t square with the rules of social politeness in general.

For more information check out dating expert Neil Strauss.